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Written by Vaughan Simons

Best of the Web

In Bloc business on 20 October, 2009

Writers’ Bloc is proud to announce its nom­in­a­tions for this year’s Dzanc Books Best of the Web.

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Is this why you can’t look me
in the face when you’re (writing
about) slitting my throat?

In Process on 7 July, 2009

- A fevered dia­logue. Internal. A fevered dia­logue. Let’s go external. Let’s go bal­listic. Go.

- Yes, it all makes sense now. It all makes sense. Crys­tal. Stab me with your pen to make sure that it’ll all resound with the same per­fect but unquan­ti­fi­able clar­ity when I’ve got a fray­ing chasm in the centre of my chest, will you? Stab me repeatedly. I’ll need a big­ger hole, not just some glan­cing flesh wound. You’re not try­ing hard enough, damn you.

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Chris Killen interrupted the
writing of his second novel to
answer these very trivial
questions: oh, the guilt

In Interviews on 27 April, 2009

Things I know about Chris Kil­len, then. He was born in 1981. He lives in Manchester. The Bird Room, which was pub­lished earlier this year, is his first novel. I know these facts because all the very short bio­graph­ies of Chris Kil­len men­tion them.

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If all else fails, you can still write

In Reasons on 5 April, 2009

Ques­tion: when someone sug­gests that you should write for a liv­ing, is the most appro­pri­ate response always to blush and feel extremely flattered?

Answer: no.

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The semi-colon: sex
in punctuation form

In Process on 28 February, 2009

Ladies and gen­tle­men, pray be upstand­ing — and then recum­bent in sheer, pant­ing orgas­mic lust — for the semi-colon: the most mis­un­der­stood, under­used and under-appreciated ‘mem­ber’ (cough) of the punc­tu­ation canon. For­get your full stop, cast aside your comma and shove your colon up your ass, because it is time for us to exam­ine why the semi-colon should be the recip­i­ent of both our heart­felt hosan­nas and our wan­ton, sal­iv­at­ing desire.

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It starts with a blank sheet

In Process on 18 February, 2009

This site — like paper or, more often these days, like the doc­u­ment one is presen­ted when boot­ing up a stand­ard word pro­cessing pack­age — is white. Very white. I some­times won­der if that’s my first mis­take in the act of writ­ing. The sheer, unadul­ter­ated white­ness I place before myself.

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Nothing is original

In Web stimulus on 17 February, 2009

Noth­ing. There’s noth­ing ori­ginal. So I might as well give up now. Goodbye.

That’s what I often end up mum­bling to myself, usu­ally an hour or so after I’ve fin­ished writ­ing some­thing new, once the ini­tial elated feel­ing that it was the most power­ful piece of prose ever com­mit­ted to pixels has dis­sip­ated, to be replaced by the awful real­isa­tion that someone, some­where, prob­ably did it all before. And did it far bet­ter, too.

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